OH MY!!! That's about all I could say. The day before Mother's day my son called and wanted to know if I was going to be home. I told him I had some errands to run, and he ask if I would wait a few minutes, he needed to run by and show me something. A few minutes later I heard the screen door open and running up the steps, I thought it was Hunter and Chris, but when I turned around to look there stood the most precious sight I've seen!!! Our grand-daughter that we had not seen in 3 yrs. It took my breath and I started crying, Katherine ran and jumped up in my arms, hugged me and said, "grand-ma I sure have missed you" I looked at my son who was standing in the doorway of the kitchen with tears in his eyes. I'm still not sure just why her mother agreed and I'm not going to ask, I think my prayer was answered that God softened her heart. We had a great visit and for the first time I had all three of my grandchildren in the same room. I took lot's of pictures which I will get put on here asap. Wayne wasn't home when they got here, but when he walked in the door, Katherine ran and jumped up in his arms, saying , "papaw, papaw I love you." We didn't want to let her go and I told her that we all wanted to see her and be a part of her life. I think she really started asking her mother why she couldn't see us and her mother had no answer to give her.
Katherine kept rubbing my face and telling me she loved me. I wondered if she thought she might not get to come back. I'm happy to say that Chris is getting her for a few hours everyother weekend. Her mother even ask if maybe I could watch her a couple of days a week since I no longer have a job. Keep in prayer that will happen. God is so good!!!!!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Today is Father's day. It has always been bittersweet for me.Up until I got married, it was just another day to me. My earthly father was never much of a dad and I've struggled all my life with the thought that he never really cared. On December 1st 2006 my dad suffered a heart attack and laid in the hosptial untill December 16th 2006. He passed away before I could get there. A few days before he passsed I was sitting in his room just watching him. I had the most overwelming feeling that brought me to tears. As I looked at him, I realized that this man that was my father was really a total stranger to me. I knew very little about him and I have very few memories with him. I began to think back on the first time I ever laid eyes on him I was 8 yrs old. and my mother had tracked him down because I was crying wanting to know who he was. I remember that phone call more clearly that I would like. I overheard my mom telling him, "Tom, I don't want nothing from you, no money, nothing, but I'm begging you to just be a daddy to her" Didn't seem to hard, but he couldn't even do that. Over the next 40 yrs he was in and out of my life. He would come around for a couple of weeks, then I might not see him again for 3-4 yrs. My children were born and they never called him grand-pa. It saddened me to know that no matter what I did, I couldn't make him come around. I have come to understand, he loved me the only way he knew how. I have also shed many tears that on this side of heaven I will never know the man he was inside. Other than he was a loner, made beauitful wood working projects, and didn't want much to do with anyone. That about sums it up!! I have 4 half sisters that didn't know him any better than I did. I wonder as my father laid dying, if the thought occured to him that he had 5 daughter's, 9 grandchildren that he never got to know. Life passes much to quickly not to make every moment with loved ones count. I still have much healing to do on this.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
My mother passed away on Monday April 5th 1999 and I thought my world had ended. I was convinced that somehow momma was with me and even though I couldn't see her, I could feel her presence. I was reading an article in a magazine about this lady who's husband had died. He loved to make rubber band balls and one day while out walking she found a rubber band. Convinced her husband was watching over her, she told these thoughts to her friend. Her friend told her that she had always heard that if someone you loved had died and you found a dime that they were with you. A few days later while out walking with her grand-daughter she found another rubber band and right beside it was a dime. She knew he was watching over her. I found this very intriguing and wondered if by chance this could be true. One day I was missing momma and couldn't quit crying. Sobbing I said "momma if your watching over us, let me find a dime." The very next day when I went to get in my truck, right beside my foot was the shininest dime I ever saw. I simply smiled and felt a warmth come over me. I was telling my sister, Brenda about the story of the dime. A day or two went by and she called me so excited that she to had found a dime. Thinking this was so neat I called my sister Sharon and my brother Mike, I didn't tell them the story I just ask them if they had found any money lately. They both thought for a minute and both of them said they had found a dime. Sharon finding her's in the hallway and Mike found his walking into a store. I then told them the story behind the dime, now all four of us kids know that momma is watching over us.Even her grand-children find dimes when they are needed for comfort. I may go for weeks and not find any but when I'm really down missing mom or I just need to know she's with me, I stumble over a dime. Like this incident that happened July 31st 2007. (this was the only week we could go) Wayne and I were on vacation, far away from home and it was our son's 30th birthday. I was really feeling down and I wanted to be at home to celebrate this milstone with him and our daughter was expecting her first baby. We were walking out of the motel and I was choking back tears and not wanting Wayne to see me crying, I looked down and over toward the bushes. There in the rocks was the brightest shiniest dime. I really starting sobbing and I knew that even though I was miles away from home, momma was with me and she was with our kids. When we got into the truck, I ask Wayne if I had ever shared the story about the dimes, with tears in my eyes I started explaining the story and when I finished I looked over at my husband and his eyes were misty. I don't find them all the time, but I do find them when I need them. Momma makes sure that on special days, somehow a dime falls in my path. When Lindsey's baby was born, walking out of the hospital, there layed a dime. The day Lindsey moved out with her daughter to start their own lives, I was sitting in Taegan's empty room crying and what did I find? THREE dimes. I smiled because I know mom is with her daughter, grand-daughter and great-grand-daughter. Whether it's true or not it does bring me comfort when I look down and see that a dime has dropped from Heaven at my feet.